Procrastinations of a working man

So things are progressing rapidly within my work at present.  My working habits are on the verge of changing and all feels good in the world right now.  A caveat- things in my drawing world usually operate at a glacial speed due to continued breaking of routines and working flows, long working hours and various other commitments, so this brings me up to somewhere near a respectable speed in terms of productivity (relative to the sort of work I do). I'll take that as a massive step forward.

I have recently been stealing hours where before I wasn't for some unknown reason?  You see I am an annoyingly early riser and often spend hours not doing too much before the household wakes up...an obscene waste of time to anyone thinking about it now, but even more so to an artist short on time (what artist isn't?).  Now every Saturday and Sunday morning now I am up early, out of the door and in the studio before anyone has even begun to stir, I usually get a couple of hours intense working time - which has proved amazingly productive.   All this in time to get back and resume family duties.  Only to often return later in the day for round two. (I always remember reading about Jenny Saville talking about getting the kids to bed and then returning to the studio late at night - I like it and stealing this time works). I'm not sure if it is a psychosomatic feeling of heightened commitment to my work, that it is going well right now or that I just am actually getting more done.  Whatever the cause I am very settled and happy in what I am doing and know "it" is working and my time efficiency has been through the roof.  

Things I've been considering recently:

    ⁃    The feeling of finding the single path in which to follow as opposed to constantly wondering where to go next...security I guess...in what I am doing and knowing it's worthwhile - a very important personal point for anyone...you may agree?  The thought of deeply exploring a niche that I have formed through genuine application of time, developing ideas and hard work is incredibly exciting and my anticipation for the future is at a fever pitch.


    ⁃    Pride in the fact that against overwhelmingly massive...no seemingly insurmountable and impossible odds I have doggedly clung onto the dream, the passion and have managed to carve a half decent practice and working ethic out basically on my own, moreover the feeling that what I am doing is bloody valuable - to me at least.  This thought sprung to mind whilst taking a very quick break and sitting back in the black chair in the studio a couple of days ago ( I have an ancient black, leather swivel chair on casters that I liberated from an undignified premature ending - it's perfect) looking around at older work pinned up, working drawings and drawings scrawled with permanent marker as a physical reminder to the mind "don't forget this successful part of a drawing/ sketch/ note...also don't forget to USE IT".  The plan chest brimming with work, good and bad, old and new, then my strange habits that have developed over many long hours which have become the ecosystem in terms of ritual within the confines of the studio walls.  The space is completely mine, nothing happens without me, no one enters unless invited...I love it.

I apologise for the for the extremely self indulgent nature of this post (even by procrastination standards) but to be fair, this is what helps me work things out, focus, validate ideas and make sense of what is going on in my work, perhaps akin to stretching to remove lactic acid from tired muscles, anyway if this was 30 years ago this stuff would be in a journal and not online for all to see, unfortunately for anyone reading I do not have anything else of more interest to write about...such as lifestyle, flashy cars or the latest celebrity couples.

Thank you as always for reading.